


Fandomvision Song Contest

by ASBusinessMagnet



Series: ASBusinessMagnet's Eurovision fics [2]
Category: Fandom (Anthropomorphic), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Eurovision, Fandomstuck, Gen, TV Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 16:48:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4067344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASBusinessMagnet/pseuds/ASBusinessMagnet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To celebrate peace, fandoms decide to have a sing-off. It does not end well, given that everyone block-votes and it turns out they ripped off one of their own fandoms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The story that you're looking for

At first, people who came to Night Vale (the city) thought that there was a blackout in the city (yet again), seeing as the stage was completely dark. Immediately, however, the lights turned on and panned to show a keyboard. A female voice spoke only the following words: "The lights are not necessary. They only illuminate what scares us. I personally welcome all the fandoms to Night Vale." After that, hands belonging to an unknown person began playing, with the organ, what Europe-based fandoms recognized as the Eurovision theme.  
  
The lights then fully illuminated, showing the person who said the first lines and who played the song herself. From the purple and black dress and makeup showing tentacles and a third eye, people correctly guessed that this was, indeed, the Welcome to Night Vale fandom. She pressed something on the keyboard, and ambient music began playing. She then spoke into the microphone: "Only decades ago, fandoms were in war. Crossovers were rare and only ever occurred between allied fandoms."  
  
Night Vale (the fandom), though, was interrupted by loud giggling from the audience. "Um, yeah, Uncle Grandpa?" she asked, only to be responded with a slap of wrist. "Right, Steven Universe. You teach who's the boss here. Now, where was I?" Night Vale flipped through sheet music, found the script and continued.  
  
"Nobody would have believed that with the introduction of the Internet, the fate of the war would be decided. The Internet helped us to come together and unite. Two years ago, many fandoms suggested to create a TV channel, where none of the people's favorite shows would be canceled, and thus Fandomvision was born."  
  
"Of course, this didn't happen without generous sponsoring. Have a round of applause for TV Tropes!" The lights panned to reveal another female, who was hiding in the shadows up to this time, dressed in pastel colors and having insignia on her belt. This was, of course, TV Tropes, or, as she preferred to be called, Trope-tan. She only smiled, not saying a word, and allowed Night Vale to continue.  
  
"The first problem that we faced, though, was the fact that not all fandoms are based on TV shows. Thus, we tried creating all sorts of content to represent the others. There were conferences held between fandoms, but none had quite the appeal that TV shows had. Thus, to try and represent the others, we had the idea that we thought would revolutionize the fandom industry. A peaceful contest, so that no more wars would be had between fandoms. Thus, I present: the first annual Fandomvision Song Contest!"  
  
Every fandom clapped loudly, and there was cheering and raising the flags for each fandom, including a fractured house, a medieval castle, a fallen bird and many others. This was a new exciting world for everyone, and they thought that this indeed would be a fun alternative to the fandom wars prior.  
  
Oh, how wrong they were.

* * *

" _The old church down the street, / Concrete beneath my feet. / The shadows of the leaves, / These and more than these..._ " Night Vale began the first song in the contest, both by singing and by playing the melody with the ukulele. Immediately, a couple of fandoms in the front rows began muttering things to each other about how Night Vale (doesn't matter which one) had decided a lot of things in advance to boost their popularity. Those were the Supernatural, Doctor Who and Sherlock fandoms, often collectively known as SuperWhoLock. Other British-based fandoms near them, like Game of Thrones and Harry Potter, also began discussing together, not even listening to the song.  
  
"So you can't vote for your own song, but you can vote for everyone else?" Sherlock had the bright idea.  
  
"So why don't we just vote for each other and have it that way?" Doctor Who giggled.  
  
"This is a plan that cannot fail." Supernatural smiled.

* * *

"Alright, so I'm Homestuck and I'll be singing How Do I Live (Bunny Back in the-" A gray-skinned person was suddenly knocked out by someone in a dirty wifebeater. The person in the wifebeater, Con Air, commented: "Aren't songs not from your fandom not allowed?" Though, most people didn't hear what he had to say, as the microphone was knocked over and some wires got tangled.  
  
Night Vale, still by the keyboard and playing, suddenly slammed her keyboard. "This contest has been nothing but fiasco," she muttered before stepping up and beginning to look for the microphone. Eventually, after an awkward silence and footsteps, she spoke: "Yes, that is actually the rule. Thank you for reminding me. Songs must be originally from the fandom that you are performing for. So, unless you have another song-"  
  
"Yes. Sorry, Night Vale." Homestuck corrected his horns and took the microphone. "I will be performing... uh... GameBro (Original 1990 Mix)." As the DJ, Scott Pilgrim, was looking for the song, the studio was in awkward silence, and only another female voice from the audience could be heard. "Wait, what? I thought it was 2015?"  
  
Before she could comment further, though, the song began playing, and Homestuck began rapping. _"Hi, bros, are you ready? It's time for the one, the only: GameBro!..._ "

* * *

"And that, my dear friends and guests of Night Vale, was all of the songs that were to be performed here." By this time, Night Vale's voice began to sicken some. Others still didn't know about the whole structure of voting, and Dangan Ronpa asked: "Wait, so exactly how is voting organized?"  
  
"Each fandom has 12, 10 and 8 to 1 points to give to other fandoms, excluding themselves?"  
  
"No. How do we decide who to give those points?"  
  
Night Vale remained silent for a while, and to shake off the awkwardness, announced: "And now, for an interval act from the fandom without which, none of this would be possible. I present: Eurovision Song Contest herself!"  
  
Eurovision took a microphone near Night Vale's, and began. "Okay, first of all. What the hell?"  
  
As most fandoms gasped in shock that this intruder was going to ruin their show, Eurovision continued. "This isn't your idea. None of it is. You directly stole the 12 to 1 point system - which, let me remind you, we decided upon after testing several others - and pretty much every detail of my show... and you're not even European! Seriously. Raise your hands if you're European."  
  
SuperWhoLock all raised their hands while holding them. Even though they were British, just to make fun of Eurovision, they decided that this time, they were going to be European. Eurovision only narrowed her eyes, but then was interrupted by singing from the back rows.  
  
" _We are the heroes of our time!_ " One male voice sang, while another provided the backup vocals. " _But we're dancing with the demons in our minds!_ "  
  
"Shut up. Both Scandinavia and the World _and_ Stand Still, Stay Silent." Eurovision left the stage, disgusted and wanting to uplift the entire concert hall, while Night Vale led every participating fandom into what she called "the green room".

* * *

"For a green room, it isn't very green." Avengers immediately said when entering the separate room, seemingly a hangout space with couches and everything... and a scoreboard. All the fandoms were listed there, and all of them had, so far, zero points. Therefore, they would apparently be divided by 12 to 10 or something?  
  
Night Vale spoke again. "Well, since I performed first, I will be giving points first. One point to Hetalia, two points to..." Hetalia smiled because he was the one getting points first, while the man behind the computer, xkcd, diligently typed in each and every point given.

* * *

Within ten or so fandoms voting, the green room was already filled with shouts. SuperWhoLock were the happiest so far, since their plan had worked and by giving each other points, they were all able to get to the top, with Harry Potter and Pokémon slightly behind, and the five cheered loudly, since they had achieved something. The other anime fandoms were angry at the British fandoms, since they thought that animation was pretty much _their_ thing, and even though it was given to them by the Western world, the invention was definitely not that to be remembered.  
  
The most heartbroken fandom in the crowd, though, was Homestuck. "Only two points, Hetalia? Seriously? I gave you ten!" she shouted, to which Hetalia only responded: "It's not _my_ fault you were nearly disqualified!"  
  
"Right, right, just let _me_ vote before everything goes to shit." Star Trek wanted to silence everyone, but Star Wars slapped him, leading everyone to laugh even more loudly.

* * *

"And twelve points go to... Pokémon!" Naruto said, being the last fandom to vote. After the initial emotion-filled run, the last few votes had gone without much incident, though SuperWhoLock were a bit angry at the fact that their block vote was somehow overshadowed by the even larger anime block vote, and it almost seemed that fandoms that were not Japanese voted for Pokémon as well. This was also very clearly shown by the scoreboard: Pokémon was pretty much at the top, with Free! and Dragon Ball following. Doctor Who, the highest of the SuperWhoLock block vote, was merely fourth. Further down the line, Hetalia was lower than the other anime fandoms but still pretty high, Supernatural, Sherlock and Avengers were lower than Hetalia but still in the first half, Night Vale was roughly in the middle, Homestuck and Harry Potter were in the second half and The Hunger Games finished dead last.  
  
"So, I presume, the congratulatory-" Pokémon wanted to begin to brag, but found himself spit at by Eurovision. "First in a ripoff still is in a ripoff." Eurovision blankly commented, while Night Vale was disgusted at how a non-voting fandom still somehow managed to enter the green room.  
  
"Wow. Seriously. Apparently anime is not to be underestimated." Doctor Who shrugged.  
  
"Perhaps I should split myself into Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin next time, due to these ongoing "block votes"." Harry Potter was one of the first to leave the green room.  
  
The Hunger Games only whistled the mockingjay song, to commemorate being fallen just as the tributes.  
  
"Fandoms hate me." Homestuck said just as she left the green room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [2016-07-27] Here, have fun with Pokémon's take at organizing the next show: <https://pokevision.com/>
> 
> [2016-08-01] Explaining the joke for anyone tuning in from the future: PokéVision used to be a tracker which you could use to find Pokémon in GO, which had to be taken down at Niantic's request, angering a lot of the GO fanbase. I just thought that the name sounded like a portmanteau of "Pokémon" and "Eurovision", hence the joke.


	2. Precedent

_The Problem with Statements like_  
  
_"One has never won Eurovision under <circumstances>"_  
_or_  
_" <artist/country/song type> has never won Eurovision"_  
  
_NB: in this context, Eurovision = Eurovision Song Contest_  
  
_inspired by[xkcd.com/1122](http://www.xkcd.com/1122/)_

* * *

1956: No one has ever won Eurovision before... but Lys Assia did.  
**\-- voting results are made public in 1957 --**  
1957: No artist who has failed to win Eurovision has gone on to win... until Corry Brokken.  
1958: The runner-up of previous year has never won Eurovision... until France.  
1959: The country that finished last previous year has never won Eurovision... but the Netherlands did.  
1960: Either the host country or the country neighboring it win Eurovision... until France in the UK. [France/the Netherlands share a border at Saint Martin]  
1961: The Netherlands always wins Eurovision on odd-numbered years... until Luxembourg.  
1962: No country has won Eurovision three times... yet this was France's third win.  
1963: Songs that win Eurovision are always performed by a single person... except for Grethe and Jørgen Ingmann.  
1964: French songs win Eurovision on even-numbered years... until "Non ho l'età".  
1965: No artist with a country in their stage name has won... until France Gall.  
1966: No one has won while both writing and performing their song... but Udo Jürgens did.  
1967: One who has been a runner-up thrice in a row can't win Eurovision... until the UK with "Puppet on a String".  
1968: No country with a coat of arms in its flag has won Eurovision... but Spain did this time.  
1969: There has never been more than one winner in Eurovision before... until Spain, the UK, Netherlands and France.  
1970: The winning country and the runner-up are never mirrored... until Ireland and the UK, mirror from 1967.  
1971: One who wins 45 points wins the contest... until literally everyone but Monaco.  
1972: The winning country can't receive the same number of points as the previous year's winner... but Luxembourg did.  
1973: No country has won Eurovision twice in a row... until Luxembourg.  
1974: No band has ever won Eurovision... until ABBA.  
**\-- the modern 12, 10, 8-1 voting system is introduced in 1975 --**  
1975: No country which received "nil points" twice in a row has gone on to win... until the Netherlands.  
1976: The winning country must receive 12 points from the runner-up... until the UK.  
1977: One with the most 12 points wins Eurovision... but the UK didn't.  
1978: As Norway gives 12 points, so goes Europe... until it went Ireland.  
1979: In years ending with 9, the Netherlands wins the Eurovision... but this time, it was Israel.  
1980: In case the previous year's winner doesn't host, this year's winner's flag must have a combination of blue, white and/or red... until Ireland.  
1981: In years that begin and end with the same digit, a French song wins... until "Making Your Mind Up".  
1982: No country that has been a runner-up twice in a row has gone on to win the next year... until Germany.  
1983: Luxembourg never wins if the runner-up is not European... but it did with Israel.  
1984: In Eurovision contests in May, a Francophone country always wins... until Sweden.  
1985: A Nordic country cannot win if Yugoslavia does not participate... but Norway did.  
1986: Among the Benelux countries, only those with red/white/blue flags can win... until Belgium.  
1987: A country that wins must share at least one color in its flag with the host country... until Ireland in Belgium.  
1988: In years divisible by 14, a country with a square flag cannot win... but Switzerland did.  
1989: One cannot win with the same number of points and runner-up as the previous winner... but Yugoslavia did.  
1990: No song with a year in its title has won... until "Insieme: 1992".  
1991: The winning song always has more points than the runner-up... until Sweden's "Fångad av en stormvind".  
1992: No winning performer has won since as a songwriter but not as a performer... but Johnny Logan did.  
1993: Irish contestants can only win with English stage names... until Niamh Kavanagh.  
1994: No country has won Eurovision three times in a row... but Ireland did.  
1995: If the Russian Federation participates, Ireland wins... until Norway.  
1996: Ireland cannot win with the host country as a runner-up... but it did with Eimear Quinn.  
1997: UK has never won with a prime number of points larger than 50... but it did with 227.  
1998: In the UK, an European country always wins... until Israel.  
1999: Two Nordic countries have never been the winner and the runner-up... until Sweden and Iceland.  
2000: A Nordic country cannot win if the year is divisible by 20... but Denmark did.  
2001: A country that was created after the Cold War has never won Eurovision... until Estonia.  
2002: In palindromic years, a Nordic country always wins... but this time, it was Latvia.  
2003: Eurovision contests in post-Cold War countries are won by their neighbors... until Turkey in Latvia.  
**\-- semifinals are introduced in 2004 --**  
2004: A Commonwealth of Independent States participating country has never won Eurovision... until Ukraine.  
2005: Since the introduction of semifinals, one has to participate in the semi-final of Eurovision to win the final... but Greece hadn't.  
2006: No country that has failed to qualify in the semi-final went on to win the next year... until Finland.  
2007: Since the first contest, a debuting country has never won... until Serbia.  
**\-- two semifinals are first organized in 2008 --**  
2008: An UN Security Council permanent member that isn't connected with the Channel Tunnel can't win... until Russia.  
2009: An Eurovision winner cannot be a second semifinal participant... until Norway.  
2010: Since the semifinals were introduced, a "Big Four"/"Big Five" country has never won... until Germany.  
2011: In Germany, European countries win... until Azerbaijan.  
2012: Sweden cannot win with a margin of more than 100 points... but this time, it did.  
2013: A country that won with Russia as the runner-up cannot win again... until Denmark.  
2014: Since the last major end-of-the-world prediction, a Nordic country is guaranteed to win... until Austria.  
2015: One who wins 300 points wins the contest... until Russia.

* * *

_In years visited in the Back to the Future trilogy, a Nordic country always wins._


End file.
